Guidance

There’s a certain kind of knowing that stops us from truly being present. You’ve probably felt it — the sense that you know a lot, whether it’s from years of study, deep spiritual work, or professional qualifications (like therapist, counselor, psychiatrist, doctor, PhD, or Sir). The higher and more prestigious it is, the more blinded we often become. You might find yourself thinking, “I already know this,” or “I’ve done this inner work before,” or “What can this teach me?” But here’s the thing: this intellectual knowing can become a block — the spiritual ego. It becomes a barrier between what you want and where you are now. It’s the ego’s sneaky way of making us feel secure in what we think we know, while keeping us from fully surrendering to the present moment — the only thing that truly matters. It’s an innocent method of escaping inner trauma, intelligent but no longer helpful. When we’re trapped in the ego’s need to be right or to prove our knowledge, we miss the healing power of presence. The ego thrives on feeling superior or “right,” and you can almost always feel its grip through irritation, frustration, or the inner urge to defend your point of view. You may feel your body tighten, experience rage, anguish, or more. The invitation here is simple, yet profound: Can you see that you cannot possibly know anything for sure? You aren’t even your name — that’s just a label given to you. Your age changes, you aren’t your job title, or your sibling status, or even the feelings you experience often. What else? You only learned from a book description that you’re an addict! You are constantly evolving, just like life itself — moment to moment. True healing and transformation don’t come from intellectual knowledge, but from a deeper awareness of this present moment — the only moment that truly exists. I know this firsthand. I spent years gathering knowledge, becoming qualified, reading, and learning, thinking I was making progress. I had a long list of credentials, which opened doors, but in the grand scheme of my own evolution, they were worthless. A part of me was still struggling. My mind was always busy — analyzing, thinking I knew the answers, convinced I was on the right or wrong path. Then I had an awakening, a realization that changed my life. It wasn’t some grand, mystical experience; it was a subtle yet profound invitation to be fully present. I realized how much my mind was getting in the way. No one had ever invited me to be fully present in all my years of education. All my knowledge and years of seeking were like a shield, keeping me from experiencing life fully. In that moment, something shifted. I dropped a weight I didn’t know I was carrying. I realized that the peace and healing I had been searching for wasn’t in what I knew, but in what I let go of. From that moment, I started shedding the identity I thought was me (Jason). Think of a time when you felt irritation or tension in an argument. Were you defending yourself, proving your point, or clinging to being right? That’s a clear sign your ego was at play. It’s an invitation to pause and ask: What would happen if you let go and simply be present, without needing to be “right”? How do you know if you’re truly open and curious, versus secretly closed and acting out of fear? It can show up in subtle, hidden ways. You may be escaping more than you realize, through unnoticed coping mechanisms. Ask yourself: These behaviors are rooted in fear, avoidance of the present moment, and discomfort within. We fill that inner void with external things, hoping for peace, but we’re really just feeding the ego. These coping mechanisms signal that something deeper within is asking for attention and healing. The 8 C’s of Internal Family Systems (IFS) offer a lens to understand this further. When we’re in our true self-energy, we naturally experience these 8 qualities: When you align with these qualities, you know you’re not operating from the ego. But when you feel impatient, anxious, defensive, or caught in cycles of avoidance, it’s a sign you’re disconnected from your true self, instead running on ego. The ego isn’t to be rid of — it’s an innocent coping mechanism — but that’s another exploration. Healing isn’t about knowing more or achieving perfection. It’s about seeing the limits of what we think we know and opening ourselves to the healing possibilities available in the present. Can you let go of being “right” and lean into the peace of being present? That’s where transformation happens. When we release the need to know or escape, we open ourselves up to being — to life as it is, and to the deep, transformative healing available in this very moment.