Work with Us

Infinite Recovery Project 2025

0333 335 6996

Spirituality

Guidance, Recovery, Shame, Spirituality

The Longing for Home – your next step = no step

/

That’s often what happens on the journey of recovery. The tools, steps, and guidance can point us toward something profound, but sometimes, we mistake the finger for the moon. When I was in the 12 Steps, I was told over and over again that my longing — the ache I felt in my soul — was part of the problem. That it was something to “surrender,” something to “let go of.” But that ache wasn’t the problem. That longing wasn’t my “disease” as I was told by other lost people; it was my invitation. It was the call home. The longing I felt wasn’t for another achievement, relationship, or external solution as it felt to me. It wasn’t even about sobriety or abstinence. It was the longing to experience myself — beyond the steps, the stories, and the layers of conditioning. It was the pull toward my true essence, the place where peace isn’t earned, but realised. The purpose of the 12 Steps is to point you toward this place within yourself — a place of freedom, clarity, and peace. They’re a brilliant framework, but they were never meant to keep you stuck in endless repetition or quiet, secret suffering. The steps are there to free you, not to hold you captive. Over time, their purpose is to lead you beyond the external rituals and into the depths of yourself, where the real transformation happens. The discomfort I carried, the sense of something “grinding” on me, wasn’t something to fix. It was a signpost. An invitation. It was life tapping me on the shoulder, asking me to look deeper. If you’ve felt that ache — that longing — know this: It’s not a problem to be solved or a defect to be removed. It’s the most natural part of you, pulling you toward your true nature. It’s the moon shining in the night sky, waiting for you to look up. The tools and steps we use in recovery are incredibly valuable, but they are the finger pointing toward something far greater. Don’t stop at the finger. Look to the moon. And when something feels uncomfortable — like it’s grinding against you — instead of resisting it, let it guide you inward. It’s not there to punish you; it’s there to awaken you. The experience of being fully yourself — fully at home — is available to you. Not in the future. Not when you’ve earned it. Now. Always. Recovery doesn’t end with clean time. It begins with the realisation that you’re not broken, and nothing is missing. This is your invitation home. Will you take it? Previous: Secret Addictions in Recovery — A Call to Look Deeper

Guidance, Spirituality

Letting go of The Spiritual Ego – Being Present

/

There’s a certain kind of knowing that stops us from truly being present. You’ve probably felt it – the sense that you know a lot, whether it’s from years of study, deep spiritual work, or professional qualifications (like therapist, counsellor, psychiatrist, doctor, PhD, or Sir). The higher and more prestigious it is, the more blinded we often become. You might find yourself thinking, “I already know this,” or “I’ve done this inner work before,” or “What can this teach me?” But here’s the thing: this intellectual knowing can become a block – the spiritual ego. It becomes a barrier between what you want and where you are now. It’s the ego’s sneaky way of making us feel secure in what we think we know, while keeping us from fully surrendering to the present moment – the only thing that truly matters. It’s an innocent method of escaping inner trauma, intelligent but no longer helpful. When we’re trapped in the ego’s need to be right or to prove our knowledge, we miss the healing power of presence. The ego thrives on feeling superior or “right,” and you can almost always feel its grip through irritation, frustration, or the inner urge to defend your point of view. You may feel your body tighten, experience rage, anguish, or more. The invitation here is simple, yet profound: Can you see that you cannot possibly know anything for sure? You aren’t even your name – that’s just a label given to you. Your age changes, you aren’t your job title, or your sibling status, or even the feelings you experience often. What else? You only learned from a book description that you’re an addict! You are constantly evolving, just like life itself – moment to moment. True healing and transformation don’t come from intellectual knowledge, but from a deeper awareness of this present moment – the only moment that truly exists. I know this firsthand. I spent years gathering knowledge, becoming qualified, reading, and learning, thinking I was making progress. I had a long list of credentials, which opened doors, but in the grand scheme of my own evolution, they were worthless. A part of me was still struggling. My mind was always busy – analysing, thinking I knew the answers, convinced I was on the right or wrong path. Then I had an awakening, a realization that changed my life. It wasn’t some grand, mystical experience; it was a subtle yet profound invitation to be fully present. I realized how much my mind was getting in the way. No one had ever invited me to be fully present in all my years of education. All my knowledge and years of seeking were like a shield, keeping me from experiencing life fully. In that moment, something shifted. I dropped a weight I didn’t know I was carrying. I realized that the peace and healing I had been searching for wasn’t in what I knew, but in what I let go of. From that moment, I started shedding the identity I thought was me (Jason). Think of a time when you felt irritation or tension in an argument. Were you defending yourself, proving your point, or clinging to being right? That’s a clear sign your ego was at play. It’s an invitation to pause and ask: What would happen if you let go and simply be present, without needing to be “right”? How do you know if you’re truly open and curious, versus secretly closed and acting out of fear? It can show up in subtle, hidden ways. You may be escaping more than you realize, through unnoticed coping mechanisms. Ask yourself: These behaviors are rooted in fear, avoidance of the present moment, and discomfort within. We fill that inner void with external things, hoping for peace, but we’re really just feeding the ego. These coping mechanisms signal that something deeper within is asking for attention and healing. The 8 C’s of Internal Family Systems (IFS) offer a lens to understand this further. When we’re in our true self-energy, we naturally experience these 8 qualities: When you align with these qualities, you know you’re not operating from the ego. But when you feel impatient, anxious, defensive, or caught in cycles of avoidance, it’s a sign you’re disconnected from your true self, instead running on ego. The ego isn’t to be rid of – it’s an innocent coping mechanism – but that’s another exploration. Healing isn’t about knowing more or achieving perfection. It’s about seeing the limits of what we think we know and opening ourselves to the healing possibilities available in the present. Can you let go of being “right” and lean into the peace of being present? That’s where transformation happens. When we release the need to know or escape, we open ourselves up to being – to life as it is, and to the deep, transformative healing available in this very moment.  

Guidance, Recovery, Spirituality

Secret Addictions in Recovery — A Call to Look Deeper

/

Recovery is a journey of courage and transformation. If you’re walking the path of the 12 Steps, you’ve already taken profound steps toward healing — but let’s be honest: Have you ever felt like, despite your clean time, something is still missing? When I attended 12 Step meetings, I saw the same thing over and over: people showing up with remarkable courage to do the work, but still quietly wrestling with things they didn’t feel they could share. People sober for years, yet trapped in toxic relationships, compulsively eating, overspending, gambling, or secretly battling pornography addiction. I get it. When I was in that space, I often thought clean time was the goal or the necessary. But here’s what I discovered: These “secret addictions” — the behaviours we don’t talk about — aren’t evidence of failure. They’re signposts. These behaviours aren’t the problem. They’re intelligent responses, your bodymind’s way of saying, “Look here. Something still needs your attention.” They point to the wounds, the unmet needs, the unresolved pain still living inside. Recovery isn’t just about clean time. It’s about freedom. Total freedom. And here’s the truth: You don’t need to fight these behaviours. You need to understand them. What if the very things you’re ashamed of, the things you keep hidden, are the key to uncovering the deeper healing and peace you’ve been searching for? When I left the framework of the 12 Steps, I started to see what those “secret addictions” were pointing toward. They weren’t failures, but invitations. Every urge to escape, every toxic relationship, every hidden behaviour was a message — a signpost pointing me back toward the places in myself that still needed love, attention, and understanding. Now, those things are gone. The toxic relationships, the hidden behaviours, the compulsive habits — they fell away naturally when I understood what they were trying to show me. This isn’t about doing more or fixing yourself. It’s about seeing clearly. About learning to meet yourself with compassion instead of judgement. About understanding that even your most unwanted behaviours are rooted in a profound intelligence — a desire for safety, peace, and love. The 12 Steps can be a beautiful foundation, but they are just the beginning. Your true self isn’t waiting at the end of a step. It’s here now, beneath the layers of coping mechanisms and stories. Infinite Recovery isn’t about replacing the steps; it’s about taking you beyond them — into a space where you truly meet yourself for the first time. Are you ready to go deeper?

Recovery, Spirituality

Awakening the Spirit Within: Infinite Recovery and the Path Beyond Addiction for anyone in 12 step recovery

/

For those already in recovery, particularly within 12-step programmes, you’ve taken a courageous step — you’ve started to look inward, searching for something deeper. You’ve embraced a framework that helps you make sense of your struggles and your path forward. And that shift is transformative. But what if there’s an even deeper truth waiting to be uncovered? The Infinite Recovery Project isn’t here to replace or criticise the 12 steps. It’s here to complement and enhance your journey, inviting you to look beyond the concepts and beliefs you’ve embraced so far. While programmes like the 12 steps can act as a compass, pointing towards connection, surrender, and understanding, Infinite Recovery helps you see that your true north — your deepest guidance — has been within you all along. But let’s be honest. Even in recovery, many of us still face challenges. Secret addictions like pornography, gambling, spending, food, or compulsive exercise. Difficulties in relationships. Emotional patterns that seem to repeat endlessly. We go to meetings, we sponsor others, we work the steps, and yet something still feels unresolved. These struggles aren’t failures. They’re not proof that you’re broken. They’re intelligent signals, guiding you to look deeper within yourself. If you stay in the same place the problem started, you’ll be continuously spinning your wheels, because there are only questions, no answers. Do you truly know yourself through the 12 steps? Have you uncovered all there is to discover? Is there more waiting for you, just beneath the surface? Infinite Recovery invites you to explore these questions. Not to reject the 12 steps but to transcend the framework and reconnect with your deepest self — the awareness beneath the stories, the intelligence that’s always been guiding you home. It’s not about abandoning what’s helped you; it’s about seeing more clearly. Imagine peeling back the layers of beliefs, labels, and even the identity of being “in recovery.” Beyond the stories, you’ll find your infinite, unshakable awareness. That part of you that isn’t defined by addiction or recovery. The part of you that’s whole, untouched, and waiting to be rediscovered. Infinite Recovery is here to awaken the spirit within you and show you that the answers you seek aren’t “out there.” Your struggles with secret addictions, destructive patterns, or emotional turmoil aren’t proof of failure; they’re invitations. They’re signposts pointing you back to yourself. This is your opportunity to see beyond the coping mechanisms, beyond the structure of any programme, and to reconnect with the infinite intelligence that’s always been within you. Your true north doesn’t reside in a system — it resides in you. Let’s explore it together.

Recovery, Spirituality

A Paradigm Shift in Recovery – From “Me” to Freedom

/

Recovery, as it’s commonly understood, is often about fixing a broken self — a separate “me” navigating an objective world. The “I” becomes the centre of our universe, wrapped in stories of victimhood, survival, or triumph. Therapy, 12 steps, self-help… they all point us toward rearranging our inner world, like moving chairs around on the Titanic. Sure, the view might improve, but the ship is still sinking. The real transformation isn’t in fixing or even improving the narrative of “me.” The true shift comes when we stop identifying with it altogether. When we move from being the sufferer or survivor to realising that we are the observer — the knower of awareness, free from the narrative. This paradigm shift invites us to see beyond the relative world of “I need to be better, stronger, healed,” into the absolute — where peace already exists. The relative world of recovery, with its tools and techniques, is still tied to the idea of a separate self. It’s a vital step, yes, but it’s not the destination. True freedom is awakening to the fact that there is no “self” to fix, no story to heal. Addiction, trauma, therapy, and 12-step work all happen within the relative. They serve a purpose, yes — they stabilise us in the storm. But they cannot bring us true freedom because they reinforce the idea of a broken “me” needing repair. This is where the spiritual realisation arises: we are not the storm; we are the sky. This awakening is not an intellectual shift; it is the recognition of what has always been true. Trauma and spiritual insight dance together in this process. Trauma shows us where the self clings, where it suffers, where it resists. And spiritual awakening shows us that the self is an illusion. Recovery isn’t about reaching a destination or becoming “perfect.” It’s about stepping off the ship altogether. It’s about letting go of the search for a better “me” and seeing clearly the freedom and wholeness that already exist beyond the story. This is the paradigm shift the world of recovery needs. Not just better tools to manage suffering, but the radical realisation that the separate self is not who we are. The ship doesn’t need a new chair arrangement; we don’t need to cling to it at all. Be brave. Look beyond. Freedom isn’t a goal; it’s the truth of what you already are.

Recovery, Spirituality

Success or failure

/

Look at your Facebook feed: ads gleaming with Lamborghinis and yachts, selling dreams dipped in luxury, 20 new high ticket clients a month etc. They poke at our insecurities, whispering, “This is what success looks like.” We’re lured in, believing that happiness is just a purchase away, that life’s worth is measured by the shine of our possessions or how many clients we have. This is the illusion that fuels our endless chase. The foundations laid down in a shitty childhood where we were never heard, told we would not be good enough, and vowed to show them our worth. So, picture an ad with a homeless man in a doorway, holding a plastic cup asking for change. No one’s buying that, right? It doesn’t sell the dream. It’s not aspirational. But why? Both the man in luxury, the Lamborghini and the man in rags are living their story, breathing the same air, experiencing the moment. Yet, we’re conditioned to crave one and disregard the other, to idolise wealth and success as society defines it, while turning a blind eye to what doesn’t sparkle. We’re conditioned to prove ourselves through our achievements, to offset our feelings of lack. This is the illusion — that one life is inherently more valuable or desirable than another based on material achievements. It drives us to strive endlessly, to climb ladders that lead to nowhere. We’re chasing a horizon that keeps shifting, believing that “just one more” achievement, purchase, or accolade will complete us. But in this relentless pursuit, what are we missing? The beauty of the present moment, the stories of those we consider “less” than successful, the simple joys that don’t cost a thing. These ads, these images of luxury, they don’t sell happiness; they sell a mirage, one that keeps us thirsty no matter how much we drink. This is a collective dream, which makes it more pervasive and you need balls to question the narrative. What if success isn’t about the car you drive but the lives you touch? What if wealth isn’t in your bank account but in your heart’s capacity to love, to empathise, to connect? To be your authentic self. If we truly look, with an open tender heart. We can find value in every person’s story, see the richness in diversity of experience, and redefine what it means to live a successful, fulfilling life. It’s not about the material trophies; it’s about the amount of kindness, resilience, and love you share no matter your circumstances.

Scroll to Top