Recovery

Have you ever wondered if you have an “addictive personality”? It’s an idea that’s been floating around for ages – this notion that some people are just “wired” for addiction, while others aren’t. But what if I told you that the concept of a fixed personality, let alone an “addictive” one, is just a myth? Let’s dig into this a bit. The belief that our personalities are set in stone, that we’re defined by a static, unchanging set of traits, can be comforting on one hand. After all, if our personalities are fixed, then maybe they’re something we can blame or rely on to explain our choices and behaviours. But the truth is, “personality” isn’t something you can find under a microscope. You won’t locate it in a brain scan or discover a part labeled “addiction” during surgery. Personality, as we think of it, isn’t a concrete thing; it’s a construct, a set of patterns and habits that we’ve come to believe define who we are. Science supports this idea too. Despite years of research, no one has found a specific “addictive personality type” that applies across the board to people struggling with addiction. The traits associated with addiction – impulsivity, sensation-seeking, emotional sensitivity, might show up in some people, but they’re not universally present. And many people who have those traits live perfectly healthy lives without addictive behaviour. Imagine lining up a diverse group of people – some with addictions, some without, and trying to spot a common thread in their personalities. You’d end up with a mix of traits, patterns, and quirks that don’t point to a clear answer. What’s more, these traits are often influenced by our experiences, our beliefs, and the society we live in. They’re not fixed parts of us; they’re fluid and subject to change over time. So, why does this matter? Because clinging to the idea of an “addictive personality” might actually limit us. If we believe we’re doomed by a certain personality type, it can make us feel powerless, like we’re at the mercy of our so-called nature. But when we start to see personality as something flexible and shaped by experience, we can open up new ways of understanding ourselves, and new ways of changing. We actually can see that the belief of a fixed personality type called ‘addictive personality’ will create the desired result – addictive behaviour, purely based on that belief, and nothing to do with any unexplainable phenomena or disease. Here’s something to think about: How much of the way you see yourself is based on patterns and beliefs you’ve simply accepted as “who you are”? Without question? And what might happen if you started to question them? Let me know your thoughts in the comments. Have you ever felt trapped by a label, whether it’s “addictive personality” or something else? Or do you have a story about challenging a part of your identity? I’d love to hear about your experiences and what they taught you.

Thinking about expertise and experience, it’s easy to assume they go hand in hand. But let’s have a real look what’s going on. While experience is undeniably personal and significant, it doesn’t automatically make us an expert in a broader field, especially when considering the complex nature of subjective realities, and awareness. When we experience something, that experience is ours alone – filtered through our personal lens of beliefs, background, and emotion. It’s subjective, unique, and deeply personal. This perspective is what makes each person’s journey through life so rich and varied, but it’s also why our personal experience doesn’t universally translate into expertise. Claiming expertise based on our own experiences is like viewing the world through a keyhole and assuming we’ve seen the whole room. It disregards the vast spectrum of how others perceive and interact with a similar experience. Each person’s understanding is shaped by an intricate blend of personal history, culture, and individual psychology, creating as many versions of “truth” as there are people ie 8 Billion+ True expertise requires acknowledging and deeply understanding consciousness and multifaceted subjective realities. It involves continuously seeking out and understanding diverse experiences and perspectives, not just our own, if you want to be an expert in something, and you want to help others, make not knowing anything your top priority. It’s about recognising that while our personal journey is profoundly informative, it’s just one narrative in a world full of them. In essence, our experiences make us experts on our own lives, and no one else’s. In fact while you think your own experience is like anyone else’s as a source to help them, you will take them further away from healing. Silence can do a better job. Our role is simply to help someone uncover their own inner guide, and to be present and witness their transformation, via their own direct experience. Anything else is dogma, an indoctrination to a new belief system, and as humans we’re susceptible to falling in love with the next new shiny thing, including spiritual belief systems, concepts and theories of recovery. As always, I ask you don’t take my word for it, the information shared here is only valuable while you question yourself with it as a guide, my job is asking you to consider, is it true? could there be another way? could there? … maybe?