Why does addiction keep coming back?

Maybe we’ve been asking the wrong question

Most conversations about addiction begin with the behaviour

How do we stop drinking?
How do we stop using?
How do we stop relapsing?
They’re important questions

I’m interested in the question that comes before them

What was the behaviour doing for this person?

Not as an excuse
Not as a justification
As an attempt to understand

Because people don’t become attached to alcohol, drugs, gambling or any other behaviour by accident

They become attached to what those behaviours do
For one person it’s relief
For another it’s control

For someone else it’s belonging, numbness, safety, distraction or a temporary escape from an internal experience that feels impossible to stay with

If we only remove the behaviour, we may remove the person’s best available solution without understanding the problem it was solving

That’s why so many people find themselves replacing one addiction with another, or remaining in recovery while still feeling trapped

I’m becoming less interested in asking
Why can’t they stop?
and far more interested in asking
What made stopping feel impossible?

That single question changes where we begin

And where we begin often determines where we end

What do you think? Should addiction be understood primarily by the substance, or by the function it comes to serve?