SURVIVING ADDICTION DOESN’T MAKE YOU AN EXPERT IN ADDICTION!

I spent 22 years in 12-step recovery and It helped me stop using drugs

And for a long time, I thought that gave me something incredibly valuable when helping other people

I knew what worked and I’d lived it

I’d survived it and I’d seen other people survive it too

So when someone was struggling, I could recognise what was happening

Or at least I thought I could!

Because there is a very small distance between

This saved my life

and

This is what will save yours

And we can cross it without ever noticing

The same thing happens everywhere

Someone transforms their life through the 12 Steps

Someone discovers therapy

Someone finds God

Someone has an extraordinary experience with psychedelics

Someone discovers trauma

Someone finds meditation, breathwork, exercise, medication, a particular teacher or philosophy

It changes everything

And naturally, they want other people to experience what they’ve experienced

The heart behind that can be completely genuine

But passion is not proof

Your transformation tells me something extraordinary about what was possible for you.
It doesn’t tell me what another human being needs

In fact, the more profound our own transformation was, the harder this may be to see

Because now we don’t merely have an idea

We have evidence that feels personal

“I was dying and this saved me”
“I tried everything until I found this”
“I know because I’ve been there”

And suddenly our experience isn’t informing our curiosity anymore

It’s supplying the answer!

We stop asking

“What is happening for you?”

and begin asking

“How do I help you see what I already know?”

That’s a completely different relationship

I don’t think we need to throw away lived experience

I think we need to become much more careful about the authority we give it

Your recovery story can offer hope

It can show someone what is possible

It can create connection

It can even save a life

But it can never tell you who the person sitting in front of you is

So…

“Can I meet this person without needing their answer to look anything like mine?”

Might be one of the hardest things any of us with lived experience ever learn to do