They Said You Haven’t Had Enough Yet

“You’re not ready.”
“You haven’t hit bottom yet.”
“You’re still in denial.”

This is what gets said when someone doesn’t follow the rules.
When they question the process, when they walk away from a model that didn’t meet them.

But what if you weren’t resisting healing, – what if you were resisting being told what healing had to look like?
People don’t resist truth. They resist being controlled.

When someone tells you that you have to surrender – without asking if you even feel safe,
that’s not healing….

That’s placing a demand on a system that’s still in survival.
You can’t surrender if your body still believes you’re in danger.
You can’t let go when you’re gripping on for dear life, because no one has ever made it safe to soften.
And that’s the part people miss.

We assume ‘readiness’ is a mindset. But often, it’s a state of the nervous system.
When you walk into a room where someone’s quoting the right books, saying the right words, using the right techniques –
but your body feels tense, guarded, like you’re being handled and not held – that’s not resistance.

That’s a message: something here still doesn’t feel right.
People who haven’t done their own deep healing work often mistake that message for stubbornness, they’ll say you’re not committed, you don’t want it enough, you’re not willing to change.
However, you might not have ever felt truly safe in a space that said it was about healing.

And that’s not on you.
Because healing doesn’t begin at the bottom, It begins in the moment someone stops trying to fix you, and simply meets you with, no agenda, just presence.
The tragedy is that so many people internalise the failure of a framework as a failure of themselves.
But you didn’t fail the process, the process may have failed to honour your pace, your truth, your body’s intelligence.
This isn’t about rejecting every method, model or modality, some paths definitely do help. But the moment a system becomes more about compliance than connection,
more about language than listening,
it loses something essential.

You are not broken for walking away,
You are not resistant because you didn’t feel safe,
You are not failing because you couldn’t make someone else’s definition of recovery work for you.
Maybe you just need a new place to begin,
A place where safety isn’t earned through abstinence, clean time, compliance or vocabulary, where healing begins when you’re ready – not when someone else says you should be.
And maybe the bottom isn’t some dramatic collapse, maybe it’s just the moment you realise you’ve had enough of not being met.